“It’s like watching paint dry.”
We’ve all heard the expression, felt the instant implication. A real slowwww process. The ultimate time waster. Moronic behavior for any rational, human being. Right?
Then why, I ask myself, do I do it?
Okay, so I confess, it’s not actually paint that I watch, it’s my facebook page.
But think about it: facebook… paint… facebook… paint… Are they really that much different?
The problem is, I’m working on my second novel. Or should be working. And much of the time, when I’m in that zone, banging away at the keys, really going strong, there’s no issue. But when the words aren’t coming, when I’m doubting the direction the character is taking, questioning the entire project, I get antsy and lose confidence. And when I start losing confidence, what do I do? Look for a distraction, of course! And what better way to be distracted from my gnawing self doubt than to…. You guessed it! Check my facebook page! There haven’t been studies yet (that I’m aware of), but for the moment I’m convinced social networking alters dopamine levels in the brain. How else to explain the effect? A few clicks. A few comments and Ahhhh… I’ve completely forgotten about my angst. I feel sooooo much better.
Too bad the fix is only temporary.
That’s right: Just like that sugar rush that leaves you physically dragging later, it’s not long before I’m back to reality, and feeling terrible about having just thrown away minutes… or, dare I say it? hours of my life.
I’m thinking facebook should be like online banking. You get in, check your balance, see if anything new has been posted, and get out.
Quickly, no lingering.
Can you imagine staring at an online banking screen all day long waiting for updates? Crazy, right?
But there I am, literally staring at facebook! Maybe a click here and there, but I’m still basically in the same place. Waiting. For what, I ask myself? A new post? A witty reply to something written eight hours ago?
Seriously, I tell myself, get a grip!
The truth is, I know people who post all day long. They are hooked up technologically in ways that I cannot even conceive. They access the internet from their computer, their palm, their cell (or are the two the same thing now?) These individuals use facebook like they do twitter (another brilliant innovation in the world of social networking). They keep us updated on their every movement, every thought.
It’s frightening, really.
Like the guy I once saw on Shalom in the Home who was always behind a video camera filming his son’s life. He wanted to document everything, he explained to Rabbi Shmuley. The only problem was, he was so busy recording his life, he wasn’t living it.
Recently, one of my facebook “friends” took a month long trip abroad with her teenage daughter. It was to be one final “hurrah” before “M” went off to college (I know this because she posted it on facebook). Okay, I thought to myself, I won’t be hearing from her for a while. Maybe she’ll upload a few pictures of the trip when they return. But lo and behold, and I kid you not….fifteen minutes could not pass without yet another post appearing on my wall. And she was in Europe!! In all fairness, there were a good number of posts about an exhibit they were seeing in London, or details about a wonderful meal they were enjoying in Italy, but what was startling were the other posts. There were “fill in the blank thoughts” such as “looking for….” Or statements begging for commentary: “Beer or wine?”
Like a junky needing a fix, my friend got her relief within minutes. I watched in astonishment as the responses rolled in.
Mr. Goodbar….. a hot date…. Your hotel?…. not M, I hope!….
Wine, but only white….. Can’t go wrong with a good Brewster….Both! Hey, life is short!
She may as well have been back home in Cleveland instead of across the globe.
If I sound judgmental, I’m sorry. Truly, I am. I know people for whom social networking has been a lifesaver for an otherwise isolated existence. I know people who use facebook intelligently, promoting their business or keeping up with friends (the real kind) and family. The difference is having the choice. Like any addict, I was beginning to feel that facebook was controlling me, not the other way around. And that, quite frankly, feels pretty bad. I don’t like operating on autopilot with anything I do. Life is too short not to live fully, with purpose. Each day, each minute.
